Deutsch Engel
by Usuk-King
Summary: It was her brother's idea to try and become a man. So that she too could suffer, as selfish as he had sounded. But as she stood here, amoung the fields of the dying, of the wounded, of the suffering- she knew deep down he was right.
1. Germany, the Fatherland

It was her brother's idea, and that's all she could admit. It was Prussia's idea when he found out that he would soon be getting a younger sister- not the brother he quite had anticipated for months upon months. He was full of disappointment that he would be having to live with a girl, someone who wouldn't understand the awesomeness that was himself. That Monika, named after a woman that their father Germania had seen die in a battle against Roman soldiers, could not understand war. That she could not understand the loneliness and pain of a country. Even Hungary couldn't understand it in his eyes. No woman ever could.

It was her brother's idea to try and become a man. So that she too could suffer, as selfish as he had sounded. But as she stood here, amoung the fields of the dying, of the wounded, of the suffering- she knew deep down he was right.

Her boss refused to let her enter the war. He fought and he fought, but in the end, the war had raged on, and he knew that Monika could not be protected from it's horrors. It's not like she didn't know what war was, because who didn't? War covered and spread like the plague. It destroyed vast amounts of people with one wave, and double in the next. Ever in a cycle leaving millions to die before her eyes.

Germany, the Fatherland. They all thought that she was a man, just as Prussia wanted her to be. Even the citizens assumed that she, only the streets, was a male. That the friendship between herself and Italy and Japan were an alliance, and nothing more- but yet she felt a deeper connection than just an alliance. She felt like a mother to them.

She was always chastising Italy for his mistakes, but comforting and coming to his rescue in a time of need. She always help Japan clean, and cook, and she would be there for him in his time of need if he too ever needed it. They were more than allies, more than friends- they were family. And yet she felt that she couldn't tell them that she was not of her supposed binary gender.

Monika had thought numerous times that the struggle could all be over. She could secretly get a sex change. It would be easy, and her boss would go through with it as well. If any of the other countries found out ever in her stance as a country that she was a woman, there was no telling what they would do. Would they respect her or would they treat her like the others? Hungary was never invited to a world meeting. Neither was Lichtenstein, Belgium, Belarus, Ukraine- any of them. Only if they were some how invested in a war.

She knew that she would never be able to fight like she wanted to. German women could never enter the army, and her boss wouldn't let her anyway. And yet Italy, even as the cowards he is, lead his troops across the Alps to reach her own country for the war rally against the opposing countries. It wasn't full of pleasantry to say the least. Italy had nightmares for days.

Just the thought of what would happen if they knew scared her. It stressed her out. It caused her to pull out her hair in some cases. When she was alone to herself, she would cry. She would cry because she was a woman, she told herself. That's what women are supposed to do. Her boss always told her that she cries because she is brave and has been strong for too long.

She just wished she could trust the people most important to her.

* * *

When she got up that morning, she looked herself over in the mirror, a usual ritual. Her hair was down in her face, lightly framing her cheeks on either side of her hair. The blonde was striking against her pale complexion; blue eyes glowed like sapphire jewels that Italy had given to their allies at the recent meeting. Under her eyes were red and blotchy, stains of when she cried the night before. Only because once more she thought she was caught.

Italy had called her last night. Not so much as a difference of usual, but something he said still bugged her.

 _"Germany~ Germany! I think you would be very pretty if you were a girl."_

It wasn't that abnormal of a sentence. She recalls him saying that to America once too, only to have the heroic nation laugh it off as if it were the most hilariously challenged thing in the world. It was the way he said it. As if he knew something he wasn't supposed to know.

As if he knew what she really was.

After checking her fragile reflection, Monika made her way across the hardwood flooring of her room. It felt cold against her sensitive bare feet, sending unpleasant shivers up her spine. With her elbow she pushed open the door to her private bathroom effortlessly, waltzing in to the fully finished room, unlike her brother's bathroom. He always complained that it was because she was daddy's little girl, with which she wouldn't argue with. The only time she felt she could be appreciated about her gender was with her father, who was long gone by now.

The first thing she did ever morning, so she could remember, was take her pill. It was to control her hormones. While she was on it, she wouldn't have most girly side effects. She wouldn't menstruate. Her breasts and hips would stay a believable size, even though she still had to cover up her breasts with a bandage to keep them from showing too much. It was a small mercy to her. It helped with the whole thing.

Monika took out a tape measure from the bottom drawer and unraveled the small, neatly kept measuring device. She put one end under her armpit and pulled it across her back and over her breasts with trouble, but finally succeeded after many trials of failure.

Her expression dropped. They were bigger than yesterday. The medicine was supposed to keep them from growing. They weren't supposed to grow even more.

Thoughts clouded her mind, but after a minute of standing it menacing and dreadful silence, she brushed it off and went back to continuing her ritual.

Germany did the usual of straightening her hair back and bandaging her breasts. She put on a loose fitting black tank top over her bandages, continuing with her black work shirt. The tie was always the hardest part with her large hands, but she managed to tie a matching red tie to hide under her brown jacket she always wore to the meeting. Before leaving she would have to see if her brother was careful enough to dry clean it for her the previous night. Knowing him, probably not.

Before she left to go upstairs, she gave herself one final look. Everything, for the day, seemed it check. She didn't look feminine. She looked like any of the other male countries: tall, well sculpted, and had a serious atmosphere around her. Monika felt the day would be a breeze for her. There would be no stress, there would be no worries, nothing.

She was completely wrong. And she was never wrong.


	2. Prussia's Schwester

The world meeting went smoothly, for once. Another sign that Monika thought that her day was going to go fine. She, as per usual, ran the meeting with questions and debates. It made for a smooth sail. Something she didn't have to worry about.

There were a few stressful problems with the meeting, however. Minor at the most. There was still the problem with America's high debt between some of the other countries. The date for the argument would be in a month's time. She would be one of the one's deciding the winning side of the debate. As it was going so far, she would choose America for the winner. He had a lot of internal problems with his country, no matter how strong he made himself look.

There was one thing at the end that threw her off guard. Japan invited everybody to a spa resort at his place. After that they could head down to a World Festival held in Osaka every year around the time. They could celebrate who they were.

"I was thinking it would make for a great relaxation time, with this war coming up and all. We should try and become friends in order to remember that when this is all over, family is what really matters," he had said to everybody, trying to get everybody to come. Everyone did. But Monika knew that she couldn't. She always declined things like this.

She would love to go to a spa with everybody. They were her friends and acquaintances, after all. But she knew for a fact she couldn't. A dip in the hot springs would mean she would have to be naked, put on display for everybody to see that she was not a man.

Monika politely declined the offer from Japan, only to have some of the other countries scowl and bug her about how she would be ruining the fun if she did not come. Monika knew that there would be no way out of this one. If she didn't come, they would bother her for weeks.

She would be forced to go. To the spa, to the festival. She would be found out during that time, she knew it. They would think lowly of her, they would do unspeakable things- things she didn't want. There were always stories she heard how women were always being taken advantage of because of their weakness. She would certainly punch any country that came within a close radius of her, but she knew that sexism wasn't above a country. They were sexist too, just like every other degrading male in history.

Here she was now, after the meeting, still clad in her clothes. She had slept in her bed with them on after she realized how tired she was. She had been worrying so much about her situation that she contracted a horrible migraine. All she felt she had the power to do was the basic chores.

Slowly she took some relief medicine to help her situation. Her head burned like a fire. Tears brimmed her eyes as she swallowed. If she checked her blood pressure, she was sure it would be through the roof. This one was reason why she hated concealing her gender. It provided such health effects.

After laying down for a few hours, she finally felt enough strength to cook herself and Prussia some dinner. It was about to turn five, but her brother would be going out for some all night partying with the other members of the Bad Touch Trio, as they called themselves. France, Spain, and her brother. They proved as a troublesome team.

In her mind she told herself she would make a basic German dish. Eintopf. It was her father's favorite. She made a mental check list of things to grab from the cupboard, fridge, and other places she could find ingredients:a broth, some vegetables, potatoes or pulses and meat. She hoped they still had at least a pound of steak from the dinner a few nights ago. As a treat she could make some Apfelstrudel as well. Prussia really seemed to enjoy the pretty pastry. Especially on days like this, where it's freezing down where they lived, the Eintopf and Apfelstrudel provided a warm, loving atmosphere to warm up their lives.

As she worked on the meal, ideas came to her head. Maybe she could bake a little while Prussia was gone with his friends. Earlier in the day she heard somebody- France or Austria maybe?- mention one of the things that Monika was a professional at making. Schwarzwalder Kirschtorte. A type of rich german chocolate cake laced with whipped cream and fresh fruit. Maybe she could make some Brezel or prepare the Spatzel for tomorrow's meal she was having with Italy and Japan. It would be easy enough. After all, she would be home alone for the whole night.

As she was finishing up her dinner for herself and Prussia, her obnoxious older brother granted her another headache with his loud presence. He was dressed in a basic black tank top and jeans, complete with knock-off brand converse and other punk-like accessories. Monika hated when he dressed like this. It didn't suit the professional atmosphere she wanted all of the countries to uphold. It would fit for someone like America, but not for herself or Prussia.

"You're making dinner for the awesome me? D'aww, West, how sweet! Kesesesese!" he laughed, walking over to his sister and flicking her in the forehead. "Gottverdamn, you even made Eintopf. You sucking up to the awesome me for something?"

Germany rolled her eyes, turning the heat down for the boling broth of the stew. "Nein, Bruder. I just felt that Eintopf would be an appropriate meal. It's the coldest it's been in weeks," she replied, shaking him away as she moved to the counter to cut up some kale as a flavor enhancer.

"West, you even made Apfelstudels? Sometimes I wish you acted more like a girl," he joked, taking a seat at the table and propping his feet up. This made Monika extremely annoyed, and he knew it too. The grin on his dumb face said it all.

 _It was your idea in the first place, Gilbert,_ she told herself as she cut off the heat. The german walked a few feet to the cabinets where she pulled out two bowls for herself and Prussia, placing them down on the counter next to the stove and preparing to serve him.

"By the way, West, I invited that dummkopf Italia over tonight for you. Thought you could use some unawesome company from your unawesomely boring night," he said, putting his feet back down on the floor. "You should be thankful."

Monika scowled at herself for being nice enough to make a meal for the asshole known as her brother. He completely just ruined her plans for tonight. Not ever would she bake in front of Feliciano, or just anybody in general. It was considered a girly hobby. And everybody thought that she was the manliest of the countries. If only they knew that she was a girl.

"Danke, Bruder. It was very much appreciated," she lied, spooning stew into a bowl and placing it in front of him. "The pastries will be another moment."

Prussia leaned up to kiss her on the cheek, causing an involuntary groan to escape her. "Aw shut up, you know you like being affectionate with your awesome bruder." All she could do was silently disagree.

The blonde filled her own bowl and sat down across from him, taking a spoonful of the broth containing a small piece of meet, kale, and a small part of a potato. It looked good enough that she couldn't wait to dig in to it. Could she really cook this well? She supposed all of the countries could, except maybe England and America. America had too many calories for her taste and England tasted like petrified couch stuffing, if that even had a taste.

She knew she would never be as good as Feliciano, though. Every time he cooked for her, it was amazing. He could cook the same dish a million times, and each time she would find something different, more enjoyable. She looked his creativity and passion. He always put it into his work. From food, to art, to sleeping, to cats, and to flirting with women- he always showed determination and the utmost passion. She just wished he could put that into training.

An awkward silence drifted over them as they ate. Prussia looked up at his sister every once in awhile, as if to make sure she was still there. Finally, he decided to converse with her.

"Are you going to that festival with everybody else next weekend?" he asked, as if talking about her was some how import ant to his awesomely amazing life. Somehow she knew it just hurt him to talk about somebody else for a change.

"Nein. I don't feel comfortable going into a spa. I would have to get naked. Do you know how awkward it would be, in front of all those nations, for me to be the only woman. Naked. In front of men. Do I look like one of those Schlampe to you?" she retorted, facing back down at her meal.

It looked as if Prussia was going to respond with a rude, unnecessary comment, but he kept it to himself. It wasn't a good idea to get Monika angry and upset after her confusing day.

The timer for the pastries went off, and Monika got up to go fetch them, leaving a few spoonfuls in her bowls. "If you want seconds, simply help yourself," she announced, prepping herself to take the hot tray out of their oven.

"Alright! That's almost as awesome as me! Probably not, but you know, exaggerations," he said, getting up from his seat holding his bowl with one hand. If he dropped it, she would be furious. Not only would she have to clean up glass-like material, but there would be that extra broth in the bowl to clean up. It would probably splatter on the floor and all of the cabinets.

"Mhm, yeah," she responded, pulling out the Apfelstrudels and placing them on the stove next to the Eintopf. Prussia poured himself another helping of stew and grabbed at a pastry, only to be smacked in the hand by Monika.

"Not yet. These are for dessert, not for now. And besides, I'm not done. Dummkopf," she chastised him, watching as he walked over to the table and begin to eat again. Monika sighed, pulling out a cinnamon and nutmeg grinder from the highest cabinet. Inside of the small grater is where she kept her nutmeg. In a glass bowl she made the batter in half and hour before, she grated some of the potent spice into it. After doing so, she put powdered sugar into the mix and stirred it until it was mixed to perfection. Using a sifter, she equally spread the sugar over the rectangle pastries.

By the time she was finished, conveniently enough, Prussia had finished his meal. Without him having to get up, she brought over two of the ten Apfelstrudels, placing them in front of him.

"I hope you have a good time tonight. Try not to get too wasted and unable to comprehend anything. I expect you home by the morning. We have a meeting with our boss around lunch time. We'll be going to Buntspecht tomorrow for the meeting," she told him, walking away to grab her own dessert when the doorbell rang.

"That's either mein awesome friends Francis and Antonio or yours. Would you get it anyway?" Prussia asked, face stuffed with half of a strudel. Monika sighed, stalking over to their front door and opening it, face to face with her best friend Feliciano.

"Ciao! Ciao Germany! Prussia invited me over so I came an hour early!" he said, his usual thick and bubbly accent sending plesent shivers up her spine. She stood there in the doorway for another second before inviting the Italian inside. "Oh, is that dinner I smell? It smells amazing! Can I have some?"

"Sure, I guess," Monika replied, walking over to the kitchen cupboard and pulling out another bowl. "You know it's not pasta, right?"

"Oh, I know, but Germany's food is really tasty too! I like eating it whenever he makes it for me!" This brought a smile onto her face and she poured a bowl for her friend. Not that she would ever admit it, but Italy's presence made her calmer and happier. She enjoyed having him in her life.

"I'm glad you think so. I thought you would be used to it by now," she said, leading him over to the table and placing the bowl down. "It's not as vibrant as your cooking."

"Ve~ but it is! Germany's cooking is full of flavors that I really like. It's even better than pasta, which is saying something!" Italy replied, taking a spoonful of Eintopf and smiling brightly. "Ve~ Mi piace!"

"Ich bin froh," she said, sitting back down in her spot and finishing her stew. Feliciano smiled at her the whole time, making so she smiled as well. Prussia watched them both the whole time suspiciously, stuffing a third strudel into his mouth. He was about to grab another when there was another knock at the door.

"Well, the awesome me is leaving now. I'm sorry that I cannot split mein awesomeness between two places at once, then you losers could have more awesome in your life. I'll try and be back by tomorrow's lamo meeting. See you in the morning, schwester. Gute nacht." He left without saying much more, meeting a loud France and Spain by the door. Monika rolled her eyes as he took off, leaving herself and Feliciano alone.

An awkward silence fell over them for a few minutes, leaving Monika uncomfortable. Italy finally broke the silence in a way she could have never imagined.

"Germany? Why did Prussia call you _his sister_?"


	3. Elaine Michaelis

Monika took another bite of her stew, looking at Italy nervously. "I don't know what you're talking about." She continued to eat her meal as if nothing had happened. As if Prussia hadn't revealed his large secret.

"But I swear, he..." Italy whispered, confused as to why his German friend denied what had happened a few minutes before.

"Just don't worry about it. I'm sure you mistook him for saying something else. I heard him call us Schlampes," she said, looking up to stare at him. "Sluts, in English."

"Ve, if you're sure Germany~ Maybe I'm just going insane. There's no way that Prussia called you a girl, right~ Germany is one hundred percent macho!" he said, walking over and placing his bowl in the sink. _If only I was strong enough to tell you,_ Monika thought. _To tell you everything. To tell you who I really am._

Monika followed after him, her face still flushed red. She would kill Prussia when he came home. Murder him. He is so lucky she picked herself up quickly.

"So what do you want to do tonight, Feli?" she asked, dismissing the idea of baking with her best friend. It just seemed too girly, even for him. Maybe they could watch a movie together. There was a new movie out she wanted to watch, based off a book her father really liked when he was alive, which was a long time ago.

"Ve~ Well, we could make pasta and pizza and a lot of other foods! Then we can stay up watching a movie while we eat them and be happy all night long! Then I can sleep in the same bed as Germany, maybe cuddle his cute little doggies~" he said, a pleading tone in his voice. Somehow Monika knew she couldn't say no. However, she didn't want to appear soft.

"Nein. You're too old to sleep in the same bed as me. You have your own room here for a reason, when will you ever learn that? Dummkopf," she chastised, staring menacingly down at her Italian friend. "But there is one movie I would like to see. My Vati liked it when he was still alive. The book, I mean."

"What's it called? Ve~" Italy asked her, eyes glowing with interest.

"Barabbus, if I'm not mistaken. It came out a few months ago. It's directed by Roger E. Young. America made it, so I doubt it's any good. It would have been better I think if someone else made it. Sweden made one in the fifties, but it's very old," Monika replied, running her fingers through her messy hair. Inwardly she thought to herself that she needed a hair cut before her hair became too long and feminine. That would make her even more obvious.

"Barabbus. It's sounds so familiar to me," Feliciano stated, only to have Monika nod her head.

"Ja, it should. Your father was the one who ruled when it happened. Barabbus tried to start a rebellion against the roman empire's government, so he was put to death by crucifixion. However, since it was Passover, the governor at the time, Pilate, allowed the crowd to let one man go. It was either Jesus or Barabbus. They chose to let Barabbus go, even though he would be the one to cause more damage later on. It's based off the bible, though my father was there in the crowd when it really happened. I haven't been sure that the movie adaptations are very accurate. The closest he could find to an accurate interpretation was the book by Lakgerkvist, who was Sweden," she informed him, seeming like a know-it-all as usual to the Italian, who blinked in confusion before the information settled in.

"Oh, I see, so it's Roman! Ve~ Just like Grandpa Rome! I'd love to watch it with you Germany!" he complied, starting to walk towards the German's living room. "Where is it~? Do you have it yet?"

"Nein. I'd have to go to the store and pick it up, but I'm sure you wouldn't mind waiting here for awhile while I do? I would be back in about ten minutes."

"Si, si, I wouldn't mind! While you're gone I'll make some pasta we can eat during the movie! Do you want extra tomato sauce or that Alfredo sauce you complimented me on the other night~? I can make both if you want! You could have a mixture!" Feliciano cheered, happy that he could have some quality time with his best friend for once. Germany had been so grumpy and rude to him as of late, and he didn't understand it. Now he was just happy he was starting to be nicer.

"It's up to you, Italia," she replied, a smile on her face. Her best friend could be annoying but...he was enjoyable sometimes. "I don't mind either, actually."

"Ve! I'll mix them then! It'll be so good~ Pasta!" he cheered once more before heading over to the kitchen cabinets and pulling out flour to make for the dough. Monika smiled to herself, grabbing her green coat and matching headphones to take outside. It was below freezing, but she didn't care. The cold was nothing to her.

Italy was humming to himself as she headed out the door, only to be interrupted by Italy once more.

"Ve~ Germany? I was wondering before, but I was afraid you'd get mad," Italy said, his face curving downwards. "Why don't you have a human name like everybody else? I mean, I'm Feliciano, Japan is Kiku, America is Alfred, Fratello is Lovino. But why don't you have something?"

Monika stopped in her tracks for a minute. She hadn't thought about it before. She had never shared her name before. Well, there was the obvious point of it was a female's name, but why hadn't she made up one before? After a few moments of thinking, she gave him a smile.

"Fine. You can call me Ludwig. Ludwig Beilschmidt," she responded, turning towards the door once more as Italy continued to make adorable sounds. She knew by the time she got back there would probably be a buffet of pasta waiting for her.

As she left for the outside world Monika felt that tonight would be okay. Hiding her secret would be easy with Feliciano around. He was dense. For the most part that is. Sometimes he was observant, sometimes not. When she was in dangerous situations he was always observant, just like tonight with Prussia.

The cold air hit Monika like a truck when she left her door. The air was freezing. She could see her breath as if it were frost on a window. It was clouding her vision. Even the coat was making her cold.

She quickly hurried across the side walk towards a convenience store near her and her brother's apartment they used during the weeks of world meetings. It was separate from their usual home on the outskirts of Berlin. This one was in Frankfurt, near a popular airport known for it's speed.

She covered her face with her gloves as she hurried on, nearing the convenience store as she spotted two strange men in black coats walking after a girl with beautiful golden hair and violet eyes. She pushed past Monika in the crowd, causing the personified country to become suspicious and take after her. She wanted to find out why this girl was running from these men. It was strange, but she had a feeling of what was happening. They had to be after her for some reason, and she knew it wasn't because she stole something. Monika could feel it was because they wanted to take advantage of her for being a women, and she wouldn't take it.

The young girl ran down an alleyway as fast as she could, her breathing being able to be heard from where Monika chased after her, yelling. She knew the two others were still in pursuit, but they were far behind her and the girl running for her life. "Wait! Please!" she called in German, then English, hoping she spoke one of the two languages.

She stood cornered, Monika coming up close to her. The girl cried and screamed, but Monika begged her to be quite. "I'm here to help, schön kind. What is wrong?" she asked, stepping towards the crying child as she cowered in fear.

"I saw them murder my father," she said, shaking and sobbing as she explained. "When I told them to get away, they grabbed me and tried to sexually assault me. I cried and tried to run, but they chased after me. If they get a hold of me I don't know what wil happen!"

"Let me tell you a secret," Monika whispered in her ear, circling her arms around her in a comforting gesture. "I'm not going to hurt you. As long as I'm here, you will be fine. I am a country, I cannot die."

"You're the personification? Really?" she asked, smiling and looking bright eyed up at her. "You're so amazing. Thank you for coming to my rescue!"

"And I can tell you another secret, if you're willing not to tell," Monika said, wiping tears away from the girl's eyes. "I'm not a man. I'm a woman." She didn't know why she was telling her this. Maybe it was because the girl did not know her and could not tell anybody in the first place.

"Why pretend to be a man, then?" she asked, leaving Monika standing there silent for a few seconds.

"I can explain later, but we have to go. There's no real time for talking child, it's a matter of time before-" She could not say another word before the two men from before stepped into the alleyway, blocking the lights from the streets. Monika would never forgive herself if they got ahold of this innocent child. She shoved the girl behind herself, hoping to use her immortal body as a shield.

"Give us the girl," the taller one of the two said, his black jacket gleaming with the light of the street. "She's not as innocent as you think. She's the daughter of a ruthless business man."

"Nein. I will never let you take a life of a child from the Fatherland!" she scowled, pushing the girl farther against the wall. "It's injustice and cruel. You will be sent to prison for this! I will make sure you stay in there for life!"

"There's a simple solution to that," he replied, pulling out a shining silver pistol. Monika's eyebrows furrowed even more and she reached for her own gun she kept secure to her waist. She always kept it with her in case a situation like this ever came along. This wouldn't be the first time it happened.

The first time was a blur, but Prussia had said she shouldn't worry about it. It had to do with her running off with another girl when they were madly in love. They were cornered and attacked for being _satan's children._ The girl she loved as shot and killed, but Monika was saved by her father and Prussia in time, leaving her still alive. She wouldn't have died anyway, but the girl she loved was mortal. She still loved Rhaynne to this day.

Now she always carried a gun. She reached for it, only to find that it was empty. Not a bullet in the chamber. She cussed to herself silently. She didn't know what to do now. She swore it was full last time she checked.

Monika threw the little girl to the ground as a bullet fired right past Monika's face, nearly grazing her skin. It left a large indent in the wall where it hit.

Monika hoped the gun fire would set off Police to come for them. Then she could save this young girl. She would hate herself for the rest of her existence as a country if she let her die.

The young girl she didn't know the name of sobbed and cried. She saw the man with the gun point towards her for the kill. Monika watched as he pulled the trigger. She knew that he was aiming for her uncovered head. Stupidly, yet bravely, she threw her foot in front of the girl's head, digging the bullet right into her calf. Searing pain shot up her body, flames licking at the puncture wound. Blood seeped through her pants, hitting the cold air and bringing tears to Monika eyes. She cried out as she fell ontop of the girl, unable to stand anymore. She knew he would keep firing at the girl. She had to make a move quickly.

With the rest of her strength, she completely covered the girl with her body. If only she had made sure her gun was loaded before she went out.

Monika felt an involuntary scream rip through her throat as another bullet struck her back, hitting near her tail bone. She could just feel it lodge itself in between the bone.

More came until Monika could no longer feel anything. The sound of footsteps came towards her as the other man was preparing to remove her body from on top of the girl's. Monika tried to will herself up, but she couldn't. It was useless. The man was about to grab her when more gun shots fired. Monika wasn't very responsive, but she knew that the Police had finally shown up.


	4. Das Rot Kleid

Gilbert and his dorky friends had gone to a club within Frankfurt that was popular amoung the all night dancers. It was called _Das Rot Kleid_ , and it was a central for all night raves. It was most popular for it's bright neon strobe lights and glow sticks. Prussia always wore a crown he made of glow sticks, glow stick bracelets all up his arm, and a few necklaces to compliment his look. When he went to it, he wore a lot of light, which looked cool under the ultra violet lights that they had inside of the club.

Usually Prussia kept his phone off in his pocket. This was the night he forgot to do so. While he was dancing with a young girl from Berlin that he did not know the name of, his phone went off, surprising him completely. It blasted the song that he and his friends had wrote when they were drunk one night. _"Jiyuu no jouso. Shiritai kai? Itsu datte ore wa tomaranee~"_

It caught him by surprise, and he about fell on his butt if the unnamed girl hadn't caught his arm.

"I'm sorry, Frauline, but I think I may have to take this," he said, walking out of the crowd. Something told him he had to take this. Otherwise he wouldn't have. Something important happened. He just knew it.

When the volume became quieter where he was, he plugged one of his fingers into his ear and started speaking into the phone. "Ja, hallo? This is Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"Hello, Gilbert Beilschmidt? You are the legal guardian of a woman named Monika, are you not?" the woman on the other end of the phone asked, the sound of papers shuffling next to her a distraction against her voice.

"Ja, that is the awesome me, Gilbert. Why do you ask, Frauline?"

"We need you to report to intensive care immediately. Your sister is in a critical state," the lady on the other end said. It was as if the loud blaring music in the background was no longer there. Nothing was in Prussia's ears anymore. Only the sound of Monika crying when she was a child.

It was true that his sister wasn't the top person on his list. The list of people he liked. He had hoped for a brother when he was younger, not a sister. Girls were stupid, like Hungary. She was the only sister-like person he ever wanted. When he found out about Monika, he put the idea in her head that she was supposed to be born a boy. Then the whole phase where she began shaming herself for being a female happened. She pretended to be a man. She had said on several occasions to himself and their boss that her sex change better be soon. That she was tired of hiding her gender. She wanted to be more expressive. It was tiresome to hide her breasts nearly every day of her life.

Now he felt like he should have been supportive of her. She, for what ever reason, was in the hospital, suffering. She wouldn't die, he knew that, but he still felt like this who situation she was in was his fault, though he didn't know what the situation was.

"Yes, thank you frau. I'll be there as soon as I can manage." He hung up the phone and stuck it back in his pocket. He gulped, scanning the large crowd for Antonio and Francis. They would be angry with him if he just left. He would have to tell them.

He spotted Francis across the way, sitting at a bar stool with a beautiful girl with orange hair and freckles. She was smiling and laughing with him, and Prussia could tell by her posture she was surely drunk. Francis also appeared that way.

The albino country walked over to his blonde friend and tapped him on the shoulder. For once in his life, Prussia had a serious look in his eye.

"Oh~ Gilbert, I see you came over to join the fun, mon ami. Ohonhonhonhon~ This is Julie Kathe. She's an artist. Befitting for someone who belongs on display in a famous museum, no?" he flirted, earning a giggle from the red head.

"Ja, ja, sure, let's go with that. Look, France- Francis, whatever, we need to talk."

"Oh, what is it? I can tell by the look on your face this is something serious. Did a girl finally reject you? Need help from the love expert?" Francis offered, throwing his arm around Prussia's shoulder.

"What? No, look- Monika is in the hospital. I have to leave right now-"

"Monika, huh? Since when did you get a girlfriend, Gil?" Francis gasped in between, "and you were flirting and dancing with that beauté over there. Shame on you!"

"What? No, just...listen, Francis. I have to leave. It's serious. Do you know where Antonio is?" he asked, looking around the crowd as if Antonio would magically appear.

"Oh, he'll be back in a few minutes. He went to the restroom," Francis answered. "But Gilbert, if Monika is not your love, then who is she?"

"Just wait until Antonio gets here. Then I can explain everything." Prussia looked around nervously again. He had been best friends with those two dorks for years. And yet not once did the conversation of Monika's gender ever come up. But now, he felt he needed to tell them. He needed to be the older brother Monika deserved. What if they were human? What if she could have died?

"I see him coming right now," Francis said, waving Antonio over as the Spaniard, surprisingly not drunk, smiled over at them. He followed the hand wave, coming up next to Gilbert and Francis.

"Si? Is everything alright, mis amigos?" he asked, placing an arm around both of their shoulders. "Gil, you look pale. Are you okay?"

"No. I have to leave. Monika is in the hospital. I have to go."

"Oh, since when did you get a girlfriend, Gil? Congratulations. Is she beautiful? I bet she is. But why is she in-"

"If you were to shut up, maybe you would find out?" Gilbert interrupted, seeming to snap. The other two fell quiet. "This is going to be something that you never knew, okay? And you can't tell anybody else, promise?"

Their moods seemed to switch from laughter to seriousness. "Of course, mon ami. You can trust us."

"We're your amigos. Of course you can."

"Monika is my sister." And with that, Prussia explained everything.

* * *

When it became an hour, that's when Feliciano got worried.

Germany said he would return within ten minutes. It was already the span of six ten minute walks to the store and back. Something had happened. Something Feliciano did not want to know.

Did Germany abandon him? Did he not want to hang out with him like Prussia said that he did? Was he annoying? Did he get hurt? What was it?

He was curled up with Blackie and Berlitz on Germany's couch, the couch the dogs were not supposed to be on, eating pasta flooded with tomato sauce. He felt comforted by it.

Felciano watched boring things that were on. Nothing seemed to entertain him while he was waiting for Germany. He settled for watching America's comedy show, The Middle, laughing at parts that were funny. But there was that worry inside of him that wouldn't go away.

After two more episodes ( another two hour later ) the door opened, somebody coming inside. Excited and confused, Italy dashed up and ran to the door. "Germany~ Germany~ You're finally back..." He was interrupted when Spain stood there in the doorway, frowning, his hair a mess.

"I'm sorry," was the first thing he said to the Italian. "Germany's not coming home any time soon."

Italy's heart dropped in his chest. What was wrong with Germany? Why couldn't he come home?

"Italy, there's something we need to talk about. You have to promise me to be strong," Spain said, walking into the house after standing in the door way for a few minutes. France followed in after him, a serious expression on.

"Ve~? Big brother France? Spain?" he asked innocently, a sense of worry clouding over him. Something was wrong. Did Germany disappear? Was he hurt? Italy felt like crying.

Spain ushered him into Germany's living room, making sure to pause the television before the two sat across from him on another couch.

"If somebody asked you what Germany's gender is, what would you say, Italy? Be honest," France asked, a look of concern in his eyes.

"Germany's a man. Everybody knows that."

"Everybody knows wrong, Italy." It was Spain to speak this time. "It's hard for you to understand, but Germany has been hiding her gender for years. Or sha'll we call her Monika."

Italy's eyes widened. Germany, no, Monika, had been his friend for years. How could she not tell him that she was a woman and not a man? Why would he hide it? How could he not trust Italy to keep it a secret. No, not he, she. Germany was a she. He would have to call her that from now on...it would be hard.

"She's ashamed of being a girl. Therefore she pretended to be a man to appear like she wasn't a weak country. Please do not hate her for it," France explained, staring concerningly at Italy, who looked like he was about to cry. He was trying to be strong, but it wasn't working.

"Monika is also in the hospital. There was a call three hours ago saying that she was shot multiple times. The attackers are uncertain, but the victims are Germany and little girl named Elaine Michaelis."

Even more news. Italy's brain couldn't handle this all at once. Germany is a girl? She's in the hospital? She was shot? What else, was England secretly a good chef? Was Romano in love with Germany? Anything else and he felt like he was going to burst into flames and die.

"We're going to go join Prussia in seeing her. We came by to see if you wanted to go?" Spain finally asked after a few minutes of awkward silence. Italy let out a sob, causing Spain and France to flinch. Spain got up from his place on the other couch and wrapped his arms around the small Italian, comforting him.

"She'll be fine, Italy," he comforted. "She's a strong nation. I know you feel as if she betrayed you by keeping it a secret, but she wanted to protect you. She wanted to make sure that you didn't think lesser of her because she was a girl. She wanted to protect you and not have you made fun of by the other countries because a girl was standing up for you. Britain would be all over that in a heart beat."

"She didn't trust me," he sobbed, tightening his grip on Spain.

"It's not that. She did trust you. She was just afraid of what you were going to say. She wanted to be your friend more than anything."

"We should meet up with Prussia soon," France interrupted, getting up from his spot and walking over towards the door. "Come on Italy, let's go see Monika."


	5. Accidentally in Love

When Monika awoke, she found that she was not in the dark alleyway anymore. She was not lying unconscious on top of a girl who she had tried to save. The girl she did not know the name of. The pain that was there in her calf was gone. It was if she was never shot.

But then it went through her like water flowing through a pipe. It started in one place and soon made it's way to the next. Monika had to clench her teeth together in order to subdue the pain, if only for a little. She felt like she was about to sob and cry at how much it hurt.

She let out a small whimper, closing her eyes shut. The pain felt so horrible, nothing like she had ever experienced before.

"Ah, I think the patient is coming to her senses," a thick French accent stated from the left of her. Monika didn't recognize the voice right away, but it was strangely familiar. "It's a surprise she woke up this early. I swore she would be out for a few days her body would be so tired."

"You're not the doctor, amigo. The doctor said that her nation body was going to recover fast enough for her to wake up during visitor hours," followed a Spanish speaker. Monika swore she knew who these two were.

Someone shushed them both. "She's probably waking up because you two arschlöcher won't shut your faces!" A raspy German voice followed. Her brother's voice... The other two were Spain and France.

Monika opened both of her eyes to stare up at the white ceiling. She had no strength to move herself at all.

"The doctor said she would be able to do things again in two days. She's a country, so she heals rather fast. The bullet wounds may not even leave scars," France said again. "Fortunately for her."

Her. France called her by her natural born gender. This meant that they knew.

How long did they know? Did Prussia tell them? Did they hate her because of it? What was going on? Why were they even here in the first place? How did Prussia know she was in the hospital. Was Italy still at her house? There were too many questions on her mind to be answered. She didn't even know what was going on anymore. There was too much stress. Was the little girl okay? Would those two Bastarde be locked up in jail forever? Was she hurt? Where was she?

Monika let out a small sob. She couldn't help but worry about the girl over herself. Did they get to her? Did she fail? She prayed to god she didn't fail. She would find someway to kill herself if she couldn't prevent the death of an innocent young girl.

But death for her would be useless. No nation could die like a mortal. Even if they wanted to. It wasn't enough to wish. Your country would have to go as far as not be recognized as a nation anymore. Like her brother...

She turned her head to the side, staring at the three idiots sitting around her in comfortable white chairs. From where she was, she could only see as far as their chest, but she could still tell who was who by the way they were dressed, even if they were dressed in glow sticks. Each of them smelled like expensive liquor, and somewhere in the mix was the smell of sex. It was either France or her brother, she had to guess. Spain was too tied to a certain Italian to be cheating.

It would waste too much energy to speak, so she only continued to stare at them.

"Monika," Prussia said, getting up from his chair and coming closer to her, crouching to her eye level. "I'm so glad you're safe."

She knew that if she wasn't in so much pain, it would result in one of those awkward hugs she occasionally got from her older brother. Instead he kissed her forehead, causing her to wince slightly. "I wouldn't have left if I knew this was going to happen. I feel so unawesomely guilty right now. Please forgive me."

Instead of replying towards his unnecessary ask for forgiveness, Monika had greater things on her mind. "Where...is the little girl..."

"Elaine is fine. She's under going traumatic therapy. She'll be just fine. No damage except for a broken arm thanks to you," France answered. The Frenchman got up from his chair as well, wiping some blonde hair from her face. She thanked him in a soft voice.

"I'm glad," she responded, closing her eyes and smiling softly. She felt like she didn't really have much strength to ask if they knew. Somehow she already knew the answer. They did know. And all because of her _awesome_ brother. But somehow she didn't care. It was just a small burden to lift from her shoulders.

Italy was awake by now, watching the back of her head from the other side of the room. In his hands he held her favorite flowers, Centaureas. They were a beautiful, beautiful shade of blue. There was one time where Germany and Italy had picked them and made flower crowns. Her eyes were the same shade of blue as the flower. They stared right into his as she laughed and thanked him for a wonderful time after they had made them.

The flowers soon wilted and died, but Monika brought it up occasionally in conversation with him. How she appreciated the flowers. He just hoped she would appreciate them now. He got up from his seat and walked over to where the other three were, standing next to Spain. He held the flowers firmly against his chest. He wanted to at least show her them right now. She was quite to weak to really do anything about it yet.

"Ve...Germa-...er... _Monika_?"

The sound of her name with that Italian accent terrified her more than anything. Nothing could have been worse. That voice she could have never forgotten. Even if she wanted to. It was Italy. Italy knew. Italy knew she had been lying. Italy was going to hate her. He was going to leave her as a friend, he was going to abandon her. Because she did not trust him.

Why did Prussia tell them this? It lifted the burden of her questionable gender, but it was adding stress. Not everyone was going to accept her. Especially not her friends, after she's lied to them for years! Nearly seventy. They became friends in World War II. It was 2011 currently. It was approaching seventy.

Monika's eyes flashed open once more, and she started to breathe heavily. She was just waiting for Italy to tell her they shouldn't be friends any more. Even the over excited Italian would leave her after her lies, she just knew it.

Prussia and France moved out of the way. She heard her brother and his two friends whisper to each other about leaving the room while Italy talked. Soon the door opened and closed, signaling it was just herself and Italy inside the room.

"Look, I know you can't speak very well right now, but I wanted to tell you something." Here it was. He was going to tell her that he never wanted to see her again. "I don't hate you."

Or...maybe not. Where was he going to go with this.

"At first I was mad at you. You made me feel like I wasn't trusted after all we went through. I didn't want to be mad at Germany. Because Germany is my only friend besides Japan. I don't care if you're a woman, a purple dinosaur, or even if you were scary . You're my best friend. And what kind of best friend would I be if I couldn't accept you and your flaws? If I was a girl, I'd be a pretty girl, but you would still accept me no matter what," he said, sitting on the floor in front of her and staring up at her. "I brought you some flowers as well. Your favorites. I thought they would cheer you up. I thought about bringing you some pasta, but big brother France said we couldn't bring food inside the hospital."

Monika was astonished. It was this easy, then? She could have told him the whole time, and she could have been accepted? He would have accepted her, just like that? She felt so angry at herself. She had stressed herself out the past few years, about hiding her gender from her first friends. The first people who actually took the time to care for her. And it was this easy?

She didn't know what to say. She didn't know if she could say anything. It was so overwhelming for her. That Italy accepted her. Before she knew it, tears ran down her face and she choked back a sob. Everything was just so overwhelming right now. This wasn't something she really didn't want to deal with in her condition.

"Ehhhh! G-Germany! N-no, did I say something? Was it because I didn't bring the pasta for you? Did I hurt your feelings? I'm sorry!" he panicked, tears starting to brim in his eyes. She nodded no, bringing up a weak hand to wipe her tears, and then his.

"No...It's not that, Feliciano," she said, letting her thumb linger on his cheek. "I'm just surprised that it would have...been that easy all along. And also a mixture of the fact that my leg is burning. Figuratively, not literally."

Italy tried to smile, but it came out awkward, making Monika painfully laugh. He leaned into her touch, closing his eyes and trying to relax against it. "I'm sorry and got myself hurt. You must have been worried when I didn't return."

"Ve...It's fine, Germany. If I was there with you when the men hurt you, I would have shown them the furry of my pasta!" he said energetically, bawling his fists and making a funny angry face, which made Monika laugh.

"If you were there, I don't think I could have protected you both. I feel like such a dummkopf for forgetting load my gun. I could have swore it was loaded this morning when I left for the meeting." She pulled her hand from his face, letting in lazily fall over the side of the bed. "It's going to be hard to get up."

"Do you want to get up? I can help you," Italy said, getting to his feet. Monika nodded and smiled up at him. He put his fragile hands on her as he helped her into a sitting position, her back against the wall. Her tail bone stung at first when it hit the plaster, but after a second of adjusting the pain dulled. Monika said upright, her breathing becoming regular.

"Danke, Italia," she said, placing her hands into her lap, which was covered by the white sheets of the hospital bed. "If I didn't know any better, I bet you already signed up to take care of me."

"You'd be correct, Germany! Ve~" he replied, pulling up a chair right next to her bed and sitting in it, still holding the flowers in his lap.

"Did you pick those yourself?" she asked, looking over at the flowers he had in his lap. He nodded, his curl bouncing in synchronization to it. Monika laughed softly at the curl. It was so cute when he was happy. Italy in general was so cute when he was happy...

What was she thinking? Italy was cute. But she didn't always see him like this. As cute. She usually saw him as childish. But why now cute?

She couldn't explain the feeling that was starting to reside in her stomach. It was uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and unwelcome. She didn't want it. It was like being shot in the stomach a few hundred more times.

"Ve...Germany?" Italy asked, his voice full of concern for the female German. "Are you alright? Do you need to lie back down?"

"Nein, I am fine. I just got a weird feeling, that is all," she confessed, bringing up an arm to run her fingers through her blonde hair. "It's unsettling."

"Ve, I'm sorry," he said, leaning his head onto the bed. His head was cradled in between his two arms, which made a triangle shape on the bed. The Italian's hand was brushing against her thigh, one of the places that weren't shot.

"It's not your fault, so don't apologize," she said, placing a hand on top of his auburn hair. Being courteous of his girl, she ran her fingers over the long brown strands. They felt good against her aching fingers. Italy let out soft humming noises as she did so.

Something about the fact that he knew her gender brought Germany closer to her Italian friend. He seemed more desirable. Not as just a friend, either. She wanted to grab Italy and make him feel special. She wanted him to hug her and make her feel as if she was not a mistake. That she could be free to be her gender.

Italy removed his head from the bed, boring his chocolate eyes into her sapphire blue ones. The warmness of them made Monika want to fall asleep and remember the color forever. Without even thinking about it, Monika lifted up her hands and grabbed Italy's face, pulling him in for a kiss. His lips were warm and tasted of a sweet natural flavor. It was tang, yet still sweet.

She moved her lips along his, but he did not move his along with hers. The sudden realization hit her that he did not want this. He did not like her the same way. She pulled away, throwing her hands back down in to her lap. She felt more than stupid.

Leaving the flowers on the bed near Monika's wounded leg, Italy got up from the seat, tears in his warm eyes, leaving her there, on the bed, alone. He walked out the door, rubbing tears from his eyes. Monika had screwed up everything tonight. She had her secret found out. She had been shot. And worse of all, she lost her best friend.

 **It was at times like this where she wished she would have just died already.**


	6. Acceptance of One's Self

**Hey guys, Moniella here.**

 **I just wanted to say that this next chapter is really short because I want/need to take a break from this fic. It hasn't been three days even and I've overworked myself on this particular story.**

 **I'm not stopping it, but I'll continue it when I'm ready. After this chapter the next update will be the beginning of July. I'd say around or after the fourth.**

 **In the mean time, I'm working on a brilliant fan fiction for my girlfriend, who is absolutely in love with Percy Jackson. OCs are included, but you'll see what it is in the mean time. Let's just say it will be** ** _Heta_** **rific! The other one will be based off of a Doujinshi I read that made me cry so hard. It will be a lot different though, since I kept the same idea but changed it.**

 **I hope you guys have enjoy the fanfic. It's at a really sped up pace because all of my ideas scrambled together when I began to write it. There were some ideas that I scrapped that I may save for a later story. One of those ideas was having Monika hit by a car. The whole fanfic idea was centered around Monika being injured and having Italy find out about her secret.**

 ** _Deutsch Engel_** **was intended to be a two week project for my trip to, from, and in Kansas. We're staying here until the 1st, which will have no updates on the 1st or 2nd those days for any fanfictions. However, on the third there's going to be a lot of them. Just beware.**

 **Next update will be soon! This is not going to become a dead fanfic, I'm not going to abandon it like** ** _Ravaged Game_** **.**

 **Auf Wierdsehen!**

 **-Moniella**

* * *

It had been a few days since it had happened. Monika was out of the hospital now, her wounds cleared in a surprising rate thanks to her healing speed as a nation. Any other person would be dead. Monika would usually be thankful for this mercy, but she didn't feel so great emotionally.

She felt stupid for kissing him like that. It was so stupid, sudden. She didn't even realize she did it until it was over. The way they were acting, she couldn't help it. It felt as if it were part of the moment. That Italy would have wanted it.

Monika was frustrated. Not with just herself, but with her gender. It was all just a stupid game. Having Italy know was supposed to make her comfortable. How was wondering if you still had a best friend comfortable? Having him know was supposed to help her, not hurt her.

She decided she would try and leave a message to apologize. Something told her though, deep down, that he wouldn't respond. He would have usually been over at her house by now.

Hesitantly she picked up her phone and dialed in his all-too-familiar number. Instead of waiting for him to answer, being the coward she was when it came to conversation, she sent it strait to his voicemail.

"Hello! You have reached the house of Feliciano Vargas! If I'm not answering you, it's probably because I'm at Germany's house making delicious pasta~ Or on a date with a pretty girl! Anyway, if you want to talk to me, just tell me what you have to say! Ciao!" the recording message said, followed by the automated beep of the phone.

"Feli? It's me...Germany." She felt a little awkward saying her own name. "I'm sorry about the other night. You don't even know how bad I feel. I crossed boundaries that shouldn't have been crossed. You were already confused. You didn't deserve to be confused even more by my sudden affection. I'd be glad to talk about it with you, if you wanted..." She gulped, feeling a blush creep on to her cheeks. "I'll see you later. Auf Wiedersehen." The blonde hung up the phone and placed it beside her. She laid down on her black leather couch and groaned.

Being a girl made things one hundred percent awkward. Especially now that he knew. This was anything but better.

Prussia wouldn't be home for another hour, so she had nothing to do until he came back with important news for her. She wasn't sure what they were, though, but he said she was going to love it.

As Monika reached for her television remote, her phone began to go off. With a spark of hope she thought it was Italy. They could finally clear things up. But as she grabbed her phone to look at the screen, she realized the caller ID was Japan's. With hesitation he answered it.

"Konichiwa, Germany-san. Ogenki desu ka?" Japan greeted on the other side, using his usual formalities. He and Monika had gone over it several times that she didn't care much for the formalities that he used on her. They were friends, allies, so she didn't care if he gave her no respect. She'd prefer he didn't be so respectful.

"I'm fine, Japan. If you don't mind me asking, why did you call? You've never really called before now," she stated, earning a yes in Japanese from the other end.

"It's the night before the Osaka festival. I was calling to confirm that you are coming. You weren't at the meeting yesterday, so I couldn't ask then. I was also calling to see how your injuries are fairing you."

"They're doing fine. They healed yesterday, but Bruder insists on keeping me under house arrest until he gets home later today. As for the festival...I'm not sure." She hesitated. If he asked why, what would she say? _Oh by the way Japan, I'm not sure if you heard from Italy, but I'm actually a girl and have been since I was born, and I kissed Italy and now he's uspet with me. Just thought I'd finally tell you. Kay, danke and Auf Wiedersehen loser._

"Please try to come at least. If I spend the festival here, I want to be surrounded by friends. America, England, and Italy are the only ones who have agreed so far. The others have plans that night." If Italy was

"Japan, look, I do want to go, but there's something keeping me from going. Something I should tell you, because we're friends, and friends trust friends." She sounded like a character off of that show Italy watched the other night about magical ponies.

"...Germany, Italy-san already told me." Monika froze, but she could have expected as much. "I'm not mad at you because of it, I just wish you could have told me sooner. Just know that none of us will judge you because you are a girl. Even though it will be awkward for everyone."

"Does anybody else know?" she asked, feeling that Italy may have told everybody in existence that she was indeed of female gender.

"Everybody at the world conference yesterday. He made a giant speech on how if anybody hurt you because you were a girl they'd have to go through him," Japan answered her. "Denmark laughed, and for the first time in history, Italy looked like he was going to seriously hurt somebody."

Italy wasn't mad at him and didn't hate him. She felt happiness run through her. "Then I'll come, Japan. I'm coming to your festival." She swore she could just see the smile on the Japanese man's face at the end of the line.

"Arigato. It will be so much more enjoyable with you there. Sayonara. Soreja matta." With that, Monika could heard the dial to tell her Japan hung up the phone. Monika felt bubbly inside of her chest. The actually accepted her! After all the struggle, they actually accepted her...She didn't have to hide in the first place.

And Italy wasn't mad at her. A bonus, as well. She thought she had ruined their friendship by kissing him. But in the end, she was just being worrisome. Deep down she knew that Italy could never hate her, no matter what she did to him or anyone else. He cared for her too much, as she cared for him too much.

Monika jumped off her couch and went to her room, taking in the atmosphere of it. The light green on the walls provided for a nice atmosphere for her current mood. The dark covers of her bed seemed inviting right now as she felt nice and happy. Italy usually slept when he was happy. Maybe she could. And without restraint, either.

She pulled off her tank top and shorts, crawling in to bed with nothing but her underwear: a black bra and green boy shorts. She pulled the covers over herself and soon drifted off to sleep. She was sure that Prussia would wake her up when he got home, so she didn't have to worry about sleeping too long.

It felt comfortable knowing that her secret was no longer a secret. She would be accepted. The fear of sexism she had went away, leaving her with no regrets and relief. She could be herself. The blonde could say goodbye to her daily pills, to her baggy clothing. Monika could be herself now. The one she wanted to be. She could be inspiring to the other female nations to train hard and become respected by becoming a super power, just as she did.

Maybe she could even have more friends now. Lichtenstein seemed fairly nice. Hungary was also an option, and she had always liked Belgium. Belgium was friendly and she still owed her for what she did years ago. Ever since then she had been sending the young girl flowers as an apology. Belarus was a little scary, but Monika wasn't scared of her. Ukraine could also be fun. Seychelles, Monaco, Wy...So many options for new companions. She wouldn't just have to settle for the same two friends forever. She could explore more. Gain more allies and become even stronger as a nation. That sounded...nice.

A perfect world for her. Everybody started to respect the female countries. They became the strongest alliance in history, so strong no body dared to stand up to them. And Italy would be there too, in her perfect world, still her best friend. Germany fell asleep on a good note.


End file.
